#30daysbloggingchallenge Regretting those things we didn't have the guts to do

Regret ?

The word that always adorn our lives when we feel what we did was not perfect or when we feel unhappy .

And I really like this topic . Regret that appears due to a lack of courage . I mean we are all certainly brave , even though our courage has its limits . It such annoying indeed when we met precarious situation and we did not have enough courage to face it .

Like me . It happened when I was in college where I was being involved in student organizations . At first I was confident that our organization will be established with the personnels whom I think they are talented. But none can predict the future, our Chairman resigned. What?

What ?

I, at that time officiated as vice chairman of course shocked. My body was limp instantly . I knew the reason why our Chairman was resigned, even though he didn't say it. It was shown implicitly that he couldn't stand of one of our partner's behaviour. Just such annoying person. That person did not appreciate us, I and our Chairman. Why do not appreciate ? Because she (that person is female? How come my chairman who is male was defeated by her?)stepped over the two of us for event activities and in managing organization. It liked she was the real Chairman. Sometimes her act made the junior and other members annoyed. Besides, she used the words that well, , a little rough .

And here I am. Being a representative such like a promoted . Having Fun ? No. Definetely No. Big NO.  Because the weight is too hard. Hard for me because I have not been able overcome this one "sweety girl" . I , who from the first was really shocked and confused. As if my world is all gray and gloom. Lonely

You must be puzzled about my firends. Where are they when I was covered with this? They exist . Unfortunately they have their own mater respectively . And inevitably, each of us have to face our own problems.

Actually I had one person who is ready. He is my representative. I mean when I was promoted to be Chairman, He is promoted to be the Vice of Chairman. He always encouraged me. Never gave up how sad I was.


Then come a big event. And our orgaization was choosen to lead this event. Outomatically, I would be High Leader for this event. I accepted it and my Vice always there. Supporting and encouraging me. To make it short, that event was cancelled and made many people were sadder than me. Even my Vice cried. (He just showed his tears in front of me).

Since that time, I really hate my self. For punishing my self, I stayed away from my Vice. Because I wouldn't make him sad anymore. And the most terrible thing was I got C in my leadership class. Every time I entered that class, it seemed I will sit on execution chair. What my lecture said heard to satirize my self.

This occurance haunted me till graduation. I lost my best partner.

I wish I can fix it. I wish I have enough courage to fight 'that sweety girl'.


But now, I can forgive my self.